This is not a dress rehearsal

Well, I’ve done it.

I’ve discussed my diagnosis to all of my family and some of my friends. My wife continues to do more research online about ocular melanoma than I could possibly consider doing, looking for some hope in advance of the series of tests that are coming in Vancouver on September 19.

Hope. I have plenty.

I have no fear of the possibility that the cancer has spread. I have read some stories of people living a long time after their initial diagnosis. Of course there are also a lot of voices that have been silenced, but we won’t consider those.

I’ve found myself without an appetite for about 2 weeks now, maybe longer. Although I do feel hungry at times, when I eat I start to feel nauseated. I don’t think I’m losing weight at all, which is good.

I’ve also not been sleeping at night and I have started taking a few naps throughout the day. I just feel so tired all the time. Today no nap. Stay up as long as I can and take my medicine. Today is the second day of my family doctor prescribing me ‘Apo-Amitriptyline’. It’s a drug that is used for a variety of purposes one of which is to help you relax and get a restful sleep. It didn’t do anything on the first night, hopefully tonight will be better.