4 months later

It is now October.

I can’t believe that it’s been so long since my last post.

I have had a period of great improvements in my health, great stabilization in the pain management and headache issues that have plagued me over the years.

But I feel that I am now in a downward spiral.

The pain that has struck my hands and feet is now moving permanently into my shins and wrists. I notice the pain more often when I have not been taking my Gabapentin on time. A couple of hours late and it takes days to get my body back to the pain-free state it was in weeks ago.

The stress of maintaining a level head, of being able to think clearly, of moving my fingers on the keyboard accurately has all but left me. (Thank goodness for spell check!)

The days are shorter, getting shorter every day, we have snow today which involves a whole new skill-set of house maintenance that I am not sure I will be able to accomplish anymore. My head often feels like an empty balloon, unable to process a string of thoughts, easily distracted by nothing, just an empty thought not tied to anything directly I am doing. What level of transformation am I now in?

The interview that I started with Talib Qizilbasb in June 2008 has been published in this month’s edition of “Optical Prism” the optician’s professional magazine for Canada.

My hope is that at least one person, whether doctor or soon-to-be-patient, has the opportunity to learn from my experiences and not have to go through which has so significantly changed life.

It is now October, the 11th and it’s snowing, hard enough to say, and if it continues we’ll be shovelling the driveway tomorrow.
My energy levels, are no longer what they were. My thoughts are frazzled and strained. While I appreciate outside involvement in my life (I have restarted a part time job I had to give up years ago) I find that the after affects are overwhelming. Hopefully this is simply an adjustment period.

Please continue joining this blog and adding your comments, without them I don’t know what I can count on next.

November is my latest checkup date. After so many months from April what will I have to report?

The left eye although there is very limited periferal vision, even that is diminishing. The wide eye straight ahead vision area (central vision) is getting worse by far. It used to be a waterfall effect that just obscured how my central vision was being blocked from seeing, now it’s dark spots that are the vision eliminators.

I am scared about this change in my sight. I can live with the obscrure bright areas but now with those vision areas being darker, much darker… I am worried. This type of change cannot be good.

In a month I will find out what the next step is…. And I will not worry until then.
My friends, stay in touch, I look forward to your support.
RL

  1. Rob

    I cant even begin to say how much your story has touched me & hit close to home, I wish I had found your story long ago to share with my father. On November 4th 2008 my father passed away at only 53, of ocular melonoma that had recently gone to his liver…

    Back in October 2006 my father went for a routine eye exam and was told that there was something in his left eye, he was then sent to a specialist in town were they said it was in deed a tumor… By mid November 2006 we went to Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto and were told that he had ocular melanoma. Not much was said to us at the time of the chances he had of it spreading or what time frame he may have left.

    The tumor was already a fair size at this point, they decided to do the brach radiation were they radiate the eye for 7 days. We were very impressed with the out come, it wasnt long before my father was up and moving and going back to work some sight was lost but all was well.

    We continued to go back every 6 months for check ups and were always given good news, the tumour was shrinking little by little the last check up was only August 21st 2008 once again he got a clean bill of health – Little did we know that in a few months he would be leaving us.

    Up untill late 2006 we had never heard of ocular cancer, I feel there should be more people like yourself out there to inform people and have there stories told and heard to create a better awareness!

    Alot of the things you have talked about are the same things my father and family have gone through, we learned to live every day to the fullest and not take anything for granted, always keep an open mind and your head up! And never forget how much your loved by your family and friends.

    All the best

    Kelly – Newmarket, Ontario