Just a quick note to say I am still kicking around.

It’s been months since I’ve updated this blog and that’s simply because I have had nothing positive to say.

The pain is still very much real, torture really.

I am maxing out on my meds and am worried what the next course of action will be.

My next cancer checkup in a few weeks away and, as always, I am worried what the tests will reveal.

Scared? Hell yes.

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this… I am doing well, better than expected, as far as I see things.

I am now wearing glasses, the trials of getting older are showing their effects.

I am getting more tired doing the regular things of life… driving, working… Concentration is getting harder to keep directed.

Now direct evidence of the cancer spreading but I got a checkup last week because I’ve been having a difficulty swallowing. Sometimes things just feel they get stuck in the bottom of my throat. It’s a weird feeling, like your throat is closing up, almost.

Otherwise I am well. Working hard, trying to keep a positive attitude and provising for my family the best I can.

Finally some good news!

My May 2009 checkup has revealed that the tumor has started flattening and that the blood vessels in my eye are returning to normal.

And I don’t have to come back in 6 months, I am due back in about 9 months for my next checkup.

I have been really stressing out over the last few weeks, dreading this checkup and possible negative results but that is now past. What a relief!

Life is shining again!

With the “non-improvement” diagnosis of last November I have had a real hard time finding joy in the life I have.

Mostly I am a happy guy, going about my business… but the thought of whatever might be growing inside me, turning cell against cell, is scaring the hell out of me.

This is a New Year, new challenges, new obligations, new directions.

I want to thank all of you that have emailed me with letters of support, of sharing your stories with me.

I will not fade quietly, I promise you that.