The die was cast back in March 2003 that has led to the decision I made today: sacrifice my eye for the sake of my sanity and life.
Although I am not unscared of losing my eye I am more afraid of continuing this fight, this losing skirmish, with a cancer that has already taken so much from me.
I will sacrifice my eye to fight another day, should I have to fight again.
My eyesight is almost totally gone from my left eye. I have migraine-like headaches that, although cannot be directly linked to my eye, are located in my left forehead, above the eye, a migraine-like pain that has no other migraine symptoms other than the pain I feel. Maybe with the eye gone I will become more pain-free, closer to living a more normal life, and without the freaky wandering, lazy eye I have now.
I had a nice meeting with Marie, of the artificial eye clinic, and am more aware of what can and can’t be done, the healing times after my surgery and how the artificial eye is crafted and my eye socket prepared for the eye. No one will know but me. This offers a strange sort of exzcitement. And they do custom work, so I can get anything painted on the eye I don’t just have to have a pupil in place.
My surgery date is set and I have everything I need to prepare myself for this next step, enucleation.
Wish me well!